We're doing allright!

I haven't been writing a whole lot, but then, It's already the end of October and we're in the middle of the crazy season. Fall, upcoming holidays, school activities..
Emotionally, I'm in a very good place. I feel like I am moving on, and I can truly say that I'm a happy person.
Yes, Kelvin died, and there is no denying  that, well, that sucks. Big time, and it always will. I miss him, and I will always miss him. However, I'm still alive, the kids are alive, and we have a heck of a lot to be grateful for.
We have each other, we have a house, great friends and family, and a good life. And we had Kelvin in our lives for 9 years.
Realizing all this, I'm not afraid to pick up my life and make it great again. I'm only 31, and I hopefully have a whole life ahead of me, and I'm ready to continue living it in my own optimistic way. I feel stronger than ever, I can be assertive, decisive and I feel like I can move mountains and I'm very happy about that.



That being said, I am starting to feel the toll it takes to raise 3 kids on your own. I'm tired, and often crabby, because there aren't really any breaks. I'm having a hard time keeping up with all the school stuff, homework, activities, and then also being a patient happy mom at the same time.
And then of course there's my daily "office job" of dealing with all the after Kelvin paper business that is quite slow and tiresome. It's hard to get anything useful done in the little 2 hour time slots when kids are at school, sleeping and whatnot.
So, for the kids sake, and my sanity's sake, I have arranged for the kids to have sleepovers in New Jersey once a month (Thanks Avalos, love you!) so I can have some time to breathe. I'm also looking into having Quintin spend longer hours at school 2/3 times a week until R&R are out of school, so I can get things done, take classes, and plan my future.
Yes, I'm big on "raising my own kids", as many may know, but I'm also being realistic and this is the way to go for me at this moment.
I'm looking forward to being able to develop myself a little bit more and not have everything revolve around kid activities.



The kids themselves seem to be doing alright too. They see counsellors at school. They talk about Kelvin when they feel like it, and they get a lot out of seeing their family. I would say, they may have lost their dad, but at the same time, they gained 3. Richie, Frank and Ralph, you guys are the best uncles! really!

I had been meaning to write more about the service, but the day I wrote my last post, I was so tired, I fell asleep. I will put more pictures when I have them. I have a sound recording too, and would like to put up some clips, but to be honest, I'm not quite sure how to do that.

And well, we're getting ready for another post Kelvin Holiday. Tonight is Halloween. To be honest, It kind of snuck up on m. I didn't really care about the kids costumes, i figured we have enough in the basement that they can wear. And, I STILL need to go out and buy candy, because I kept forgetting.
Oh, and we were about to skip carving pumpkins this year, because we ran out of time, but then the neighbours invited us over to do so yesterday, so we have 5 Jack o lanterns on our front step now after all.
But it should be fun and fine tonight, hanging out at Jen's and then going around the circle here with friends.
Our usual Halloween, and I have done those without Kel before too, when he was working or something, so that should be fine.



Oh, and yesterday we made an attempt for some family pictures, first ones without Kelvin in it. I'm saying attempt, because we all know how that goes. Someone always ends up looking funny right?
Raul took a couple of nice ones as well. :)
He has been coming in handy as the family photographer too in the way that I will be in some pictures too every once in a while.

You can see all the rest of the pictures here