A lot of people have asked me when I'm going to write another post again.

The truth is, things have been so hectic and busy, that I haven't really had the time and energy for much.

A lot has been going on, and it seems things just top each other off. Plus, January and February aren't usually my most inspiring blogging months..

I finally got my green card replacement recently, which was fantastic. After many frustrating phone calls, it finally arrived in the mail one snowy Saturday morning. :) This is huge! This means I can finally move on with my life as far as applying for "widow benefits" for myself goes.

So, The sunny but snowy and freezing Monday after, I took on Holyoke to take care of some business, Quinn in tow. After about an hour and a half, we returned to the car, hungry and ready for lunch.

But wait, where was the car? We walked up and down the street a couple of times. I started to get very frustrated, but thought maybe I had lost my mind and had just forgotten where I had parked?

So, almost crying from frustration, I went into the bank to ask if someone could call the police. The teller told me he had seen a car get towed. I was a bit dumbstruck, because what reason would they have to tow my car? I had done everything right!

So, we walked even further to the police station, where a stern police officer behind a glass panel, informed me my registration had expired in October. Even though I had just received a new one in September!

My superhero neighbour Jen showed up to drive my and Quinn to the lot where the car was towed. I paid, and went back home. Just in time to enjoy a half hour of peace and quiet before the first of kids came home.

To make things more fun, I discovered later on the towing company had actually dented the back of my car, something i must have overlooked at the lot amidst all the stress. And it turned out that the insurance company that did the surviving spouse name change on my registration, failed to update the expiration date when sending me my new registration. That's just swell. In case I got bored, now I have some more people to chase down to see if I can get anything  reimbursed for my morning adventure in Holyoke!

Aside from that, that week Quintin turned out to have strep again, I was sick, we had a major snowstorm which kept the kids at home yet again, and my dishwasher broke.

My dad is also scheduled for another surgery, because after a scan to see if this summer's chemo paid off, they found something else on his lung. He should do ok after surgery though, but it's yet another thing on the pile. My optimism is surely put through the test!

Other that that, I'm still happy though. a lot of great things have been happening as well, and that surely keeps me going. I don't really want to get into too much detail, but I have found a way to pick up my life again a bit and enjoy myself. Unfortunately, there are a few people that are giving me grief for that too. You never do it right anyway. I refuse to let tragedy take me down, so I choose to live my life and enjoy it as best as I can.

I feel that by being a sad depressed person, I'm not helping anyone. It won't bring back Kelvin, and it's not good for me or the kids.

Plus, it's just not who I am. I don't dwell, i deal with things and move forward.

After Kelvin died so many people told me to be strong, and I decided to do just that. Take on challenges and do things that I'm actually a bit afraid of. Push my limits because I want to show myself that I can manage on my own. So it makes me sad to see that some people who are close to me can't deal with that. As if to say "well, you need to be strong, but not too strong you know! It's gotta be just the right degree of strength or otherwise we think you don't care about the whole thing".

Well, screw it! I'm happy, my kids are happy, and that is really all that matters. You can't please everyone so I will not try to do that.

But I feel like this is getting a bit repetitive. And this also doesn't mean I'm not having a hard time. I'm still struggling to figure out the best way to take care of 3 kids on my own. It's tough because I'm so busy with just getting the basics taken care of, that I feel bad for not being able to do a lot of fun things with them. I explain to them that it isn't because I don't want to, but because it is hard for me too to adjust and find a good flow. And I think it'll take me a bit longer before I figure it out just right. I do my best, and that's really all I can do.

So, I'll try and put more little "about nothing" posts, as the whole thing is getting a bit heavy now, haha.